26-year-old Master's graduate in her first job reports her 27-year-old coworker to HR for not doing her job for her: 'I felt that she was creating an overly hostile work environment that was affecting my productivity'

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  • 01

    "Now our boss has told me to just stay out of her way, and removed me from all projects that involves her"

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  • 02

    "AITA for reporting my colleague to HR?"

    Background: 1 (26f) just started my first job after finishing my masters, and work in a dept with another colleague (27f, Thea) who joined the company 2 months before me. She is currently in graduate school, and I'm amazed at how she is very efficient and fast in her tasks.
  • 03
    I noticed that Thea is always assigned complicated tasks despite being new to the company, and I wanted to join the projects that she's in so I can learn from her. Initially, Thea was fine with it, and I learned that she is someone who will implement very strict timelines in order to get things done. I had trouble keeping up because I wasn't used to having such deadlines, but she would just tell me to be faster next time and move on.
  • 04
    Recently, she put up a huge whiteboard at her desk which detailed all her meetings and tasks for the month. I was very impressed with the set-up, and asked her what the tasks on her board meant. She became very irritated when I asked if there was room for one more teammate, and she finally snapped and said 'not everything with my name needs you involved.'
  • 05
    I was surprised at her hostility, but just thought she was having a bad day. But ever since then, she's been very distant and just generally difficult to work with. She wouldn't be as helpful as before when it came to retrieving documents that I need, implemented tougher deadlines, and would just avoid me by going home earlier.
  • 06
    I felt that she was creating an overly hostile work environment that was affecting my productivity, and felt like. the right thing to do was to report her to HR. I did so, after collecting some evidence, and HR said that they would talk to her. Well, the talk didn't seem to go well because now our boss has told me to just stay out of her way, and removed me from all projects that involves her. Thea has even been moved to another section in the office, closer to our seniors, who I've heard been t
  • 07
    I'm conflicted as I don't want to ruin my workplace relationships. But it was very difficult to work with her, and I did. what I thought was the right thing to advocate for myself. AITA?
  • 08
    Edit: Okay so I posted this otw to work and I didn't know my story would be so riveting to all of you. I see that there is an overwhelming vote of YTA, which I didn't expect, and I can't reply to every comment, but I'll address some below:
  • 09
    Why did I mention her still in graduate school? Because she's doing her EdD, so I'm impressed at her ability to manage postgrad AND her job. I couldn't manage it in my masters, so I just wanted to know how she did hers.
  • 10
    No, she is not my senior, we both have the same title but different levels, as per the norm in our country. This is also her first job as before she was doing other stuff.
  • 11
    - The evidence I presented to HR included how she gave me earlier deadlines than the rest of the team (which she claimed was because I was slow, so even if I was late on my deadline I was still on time with everyone else), how she would keep telling me to go find the documents I'm looking for in the folders that she had already prepared even though she doesn't tell me exactly where I can find it, and how she would send me a lot of condescending texts about not being late with the submission of w
  • 12
    Why didn't I follow the hierarchy in reporting? Our seniors didn't find any issue with her methods (which she was open about), and our manager was more concerned about meeting deadlines and not angering our main business partner (which she is the main person handling it) I am not trying to ride on her coattails. I was asking about the tasks she had listed because they sounded interesting, and I was curious to know why hadn't I been included
  • 13
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a h le: Colleague was creating what I felt was a hostile work environment and I reported her to HR to protect myself. I didn't consult any seniors as I thought they would be too busy to bother, but now things in the office are worse. Not sure if I did the right thing to report her or not.
  • 14

    "She wasn't being 'difficult to work with,' she was just declining to keep coaching you."

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  • 15

    The responses:

    graccha always assigned complicated tasks Okay so she was already earning trust in the company! she is someone who will implement very strict timelines in order to get things done That's how she earned that trust.
  • 16
    I had trouble keeping up because I wasn't used to having such deadlines, but she would just tell me to be faster next time and move on. So you slowed her down, probably making extra work for her. She became very irritated when I asked if there was room for one more teammate, Why are YOU in charge of setting your task list? What is this corporate structure?
  • 17
    I was surprised at her hostility One snappish remark =/= hostility. just generally difficult to work with. She wouldn't be as helpful as before when it came to retrieving documents that I need, implemented tougher deadlines, So she stopped cutting you slack on slowing her down?
  • 18
    and would just avoid me by going home earlier. If your coworker is avoiding you after stating "you don't need to be involved in everything I'm involved in" (however snappily), you are probably bothering them too much. I felt that she was creating an overly hostile work environment that was affecting my productivity, Yeah I don't know if I buy this.
  • 19
    after collecting some evidence, What evidence? Well, the talk didn't seem to go well because now our boss has told me to just stay out of her way, and removed me from all projects that involves her. Thea has even been moved to another section in the office, closer to our seniors, who I've heard been trying to placate her to stop her from leaving. Okay, in corporate speak, this means "leave her the f alone". I'm not sure this went as badly for her as you seem to think.
  • 20
    I'm conflicted as I don't want to ruin my workplace relationships. What on EARTH did you think you were doing, then? Improving them? But it was very difficult to work with her, You poked your nose into her business, slowed her down, kept poking around so much she started leaving early to avoid you, and you narced on her to HR. YTA. AITA?
  • 21
    Free_Ad_7708 YTA You were the one who created a hostile work environment by repeatedly sticking your nose in her business. She's there to do her job, not teach you. Helping colleagues is important, but you were being excessively intrusive; no wonder she she started distancing herself from you.
  • 22
    LittleBelt2386 YTA, you wanted to bet your nose into everything she's working on and got salty when she rejected, especially when it sounds like you've been missing deadlines. Not eveything revolves around you Also Imma be honest, the company clearly holds her in high regard so if you think you managed to pull one over her by REPORTING HER TO HR when all she wanted was to do her effing work, lol.
  • 23
    Rhomya YTA- you tried to weaponize HR because she didn't slow down to accommodate you, when she did you a favor in the first place. She didn't have to involve you to begin with. You aren't entitled to being on every one of her projects. You got offended because she called you out on you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, and you tried to threaten her. What you did is frankly toxic, and I don't blame her for not wanting to be around you.
  • 24
    fibchopkin This was a very foolish thing for you to do. Thea is more productive and better at the job than you are, by your own admission. I'm just going to tell you, as a manager, if one of my employees that was just okay came to me with the complaint that my rockstar employee's deadlines were difficult to keep up with, and the mediocre employee was upset that the rock star didn't want to collaborate with
  • 25
    the slower, less capable employee, well... unless I found out there was real bu ying or discrimination going on, and not just that the rockstar was avoiding the mediocre employee by finishing up and "going home early," the rockstar employee is not the one that I would let go. I would investigate the complaint, of course, but if I found no evidence of actual bu ying, it would make me question the mediocre employee's competence and judgment.
  • 26
    Look, you initially asked to join your colleague on her projects, she let you, and frankly, you didn't measure up. So she moved on without you, and got rightfully annoyed when you wanted to pop on and slow her down again. She should've been much nicer about it, but I can understand her frustration, especially if she is constantly having to retrieve documents for you and help you do your own job.
  • 27
    Also, a word of advice? You should really polish up your résumé and start looking around, because, again, if it was me, and Thea was threatening to leave over an employee who slowed her down and then complained about her to HR? I would be building a case to let you go. The simple truth is that she does more complicated work faster and more efficiently than you, and therefore would be worth more to me.
  • 28
    [deleted] YTA. Constantly hounding her and negatively impacting her productivity is unprofessional. It is not her job to teach you how to do yours.
  • 29
    poddy_fries YTA. She was willing to help you as a side project to what she really wanted to do. You ended up getting in her way. She tried to tell you indirectly, she told you directly, she tried to limit contact entirely, then you tried to land her in hot water. Hr clearly doesn't think she did anything wrong and just removed her from you as being easier than the other way around - and now you're still digging.
  • 30
    addangel YTA for having so little self awareness. I think HR's resolution was absolutely correct: you two obviously have different working styles/speeds, so you don't make a good team; plus, she outright refused to keep coaching you, which is well within her right. So they got you out of each other's hairs. What else did you expect? But somehow, you still feel mistreated. Are you saying you feel entitled to her time and knowledge, even against her will and with no. real benefit to her? Conceited
  • 31
    dorothea1756 YTA. And you don't know what "hostile work environment" means. There's no suggestion here that any of her actions or responses to you were due to illegal discrimination.
  • 32
    svmc80 YTA Going strait to HR because - she wasn't coddling you? Welcome to the real world. You will not be accepted into the work culture and are now known a the office cry baby. Good luck with that.
  • 33
    lanurk YTA, sounds like you should consider that you've made her feel uncomfortable with your obsession with her. If I were you, I'd back off and retract your statement to HR.
  • 34
    wordsmythy So, upon getting a new job, you annoy the sh out of a coworker, and then report the company's most productive employee to HR because she doesn't like you? Baller move. Not a very smart move, but you do you. YOU are very much the AH.
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